Keeping Up Appearances

By Christy Ganchero

A few months ago, I made a big mistake in my grooming routine – I over-plucked my eyebrows. I am sure most of you didn’t notice (my husband didn’t!), but to me it was devastating. In a frenzy, I bought a bunch of eyebrow makeup and started applying home hair-growing remedies to my brows. For the first few weeks, I was paranoid that everyone would notice my flaw. I spent more and more time watching YouTube tutorials and applying makeup, to the point that I started arriving late to work. I didn’t realize how important my physical appearance was to me until I felt that I’d lost it.

Around week three of my eyebrow drama, I reread this passage:

“I desire then that in every place the men should pray… likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but what is proper for women who profess godliness – with good works” (1 Timothy 2:8-9).

I’ve read this passage countless times in my life, but I never felt convicted about Paul’s admonition to women until the eyebrow incident. You see, I had been taught that as long as you did enough “good works,” then you are allowed to braid your hair, wear gold, and buy costly attire. The physical manifestation did not matter as long as one’s heart was in the right place. However, the more I read this passage, the more I realize that the outer adornment of the physical body and our good works are inversely correlated. Meaning, the more that we focus on what we look like on the outside, the less we are able to adorn ourselves with good works.

Thinking about my situation, I could tell that my obsession with my appearance was affecting my priorities. I was arriving later to work, I was spending more money on makeup, and I was focusing my thoughts on my looks throughout the day. Do you know what suffered? My morning study time, which was cut short because I prolonged my makeup routine. My relationship with my coworkers, who had to pick up my slack at work. My focus during services, because I was thinking about others’ perceptions of me. All of these good works suffered because I was thinking about my appearance.

Am I suggesting that we should throw away our gold jewelry and makeup? Not necessarily, although it would be a small sacrifice for gaining Christ (Phil 3:7-8). Rather, we should actively look for ways that we can put aside physical adornments for spiritual ones. How long do you take to get ready in the morning? Consider ditching a morning habit so that you can pray more. Do you purchase makeup, accessories, or clothing that is unnecessary or costly? Maybe donate the money instead, or give your unneeded items to help those in need. Instead of devoting our time and resources to how others will see us, let us focus on how we see others and their needs, which will lead us to grow in good works. May God help you and me to become godly, humble women as we seek His kingdom.

Do Our Emotions Excuse Us From Self-Control?

By Christy Ganchero

A few weeks ago, I took part in a fruit-of-the-spirit themed girl’s night. I had the privilege of sharing my thoughts about self-control with several young women, all of whom showed great excitement about spiritual things. However, I realized later on that I forgot to cover an important question related to the final fruit of the Spirit: Do our emotions excuse us from having self-control?

At a young age, women realize that there are times when our emotions are difficult to control, especially during our monthly cycle. It is no longer taboo in our society to talk about menstruation, or the bundle of emotions that comes with it. In fact, the internet is full of memes and jokes concerning PMS. Most of these portray women as having a monthly nightmare mode, which takes over our bodies and causes us to have uncontrollable anger, sadness, and aggravation. We have to deal this internal monster for one week out of the month, or a quarter of our lives.

Our culture says two contradictory things about women in this conversation. On one hand, feminist propaganda states that women and men are essentially the same. They say that the differences between men and women are just figments of collective imagination. On the other hand, postmodern progressivism encourages women to say, “I can completely lose control, and that’s okay, because I am a woman!” These two ideas cannot mix. A man cannot experience a menstrual cycle, which is biological proof that the two sexes serve different physical functions. But a woman cannot behave however she wants to just because she is a female biologically – she is also a member of the human race, which has God-given reason and intellect. We would never condone men assaulting women because “they can’t control themselves.” Both men and women will be held accountable for their actions (2 Cor. 5:10).

What does the Bible say regarding women and self-control? In Titus 2, Paul instructs young women to be “self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive” (Titus 2:5). All of these things require us to reign in our emotions and serve others above ourselves. How can we accomplish this? Paul gives us the answer a few verses later:

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. (Ti 2:11-14)

God’s grace trains us to live with self-control. And this grace was given through Jesus Christ, who died in order to purify us from sin. Jesus felt deep, raw emotions, yet He exercised self-control and went to the cross. Because of His sacrifice, those who have been born again and have received His Spirit have the power, by faith, to exercise self-control in all things, just as He did.