Growing In Godliness Blog
A Man Guards Her Safety and Her Honor
The Protector Role
One flesh means that woman becomes part of the man she marries. Her life is as valuable as his life. He is to guard it and protect her with his life. When Jacob took his family from his father-in-laws house, he was told that his brother Esau was coming to settle a score. The first thing Jacob did was to move his two wives and family out of harm's way. He made sure that they were out of the line of fire and he went to face Esau alone.
Boaz protected Ruth's reputation by having her leave the threshing floor before light so rumors would not erupt concerning her character. A man protects the reputation of the woman he loves. He should not live with her or sleep over with her. This damages her reputation.
Joseph upon hearing of Mary, the mother of Jesus , was with child sought to put her away quietly so that she would not be stoned for fornication (Mat 1:19) Each of these men had a deep sense of responsibility towards the woman in their lives. They were aware of their obligation to protect her heart, her body, her emotions, and her reputation.
I'm at the end of this brief but important part of the "What every boy needs to know about being a man speech".
Be the extraordinary man good women want.
By Megan Berthold
As everyone was talking about resolutions in the New Year, I just couldn’t quit thinking about Star Wars. I am definitely a Star Wars fan, although this has not always been the case. I used to be one of those girls that would confuse Star Wars with Star Trek, not believing there was a difference. All that has changed now – I have seen the light (saber, of course). I can discuss with confidence the plots and characters and which episodes contain which events. What can I say? I’m a Mom of boys.
We recently saw Rogue One, the latest in the series. No spoilers here – promise! As we’re driving home, all discussing the movie, I became astutely aware of some similarities each movie share…more than each having the Death Star. And those similarities seem to translate easily to our walk as Christians.
1 – Rally Scenes. The comrades gather, a speech is given, hope is established, courage is restored, the forces are united to fight, the music swells and you get chills all over as they head to face their foe. In each of the rally scenes, there is a set goal, a definitive cause for which to fight, and they are willing to sacrifice for it. And although our lives certainly aren’t based on scripted plot lines, we are in a fight! Ephesians 6:11 tells us put on the full armor of God. Why? Verse 11 continues, “that you will be able stand firm against the wiles of the devil.”
Are we willing to sacrifice for our fight? Am I willing to “sacrifice” fitting in to the culture around me, and dress modestly? To keep my thoughts and speech pure? To keep my eyes from the vulgar images about me (shields up we could say!)? If I believe in my “cause” as a Christian, I need to make sure my actions prove it. We need to listen to the “rally speeches” from the Word of God, firm up our courage, and resolve to go out and fight for the Lord, whatever the cost.
2 – Reinforcements. The good guys are being closed in upon, hope seems all but lost, and surrender or death appears imminent. But then, reinforcements come in and deliver the back-up needed and the day is saved. When plans are made, they are typically made as a team. Even when Luke flew to Dagobah to find and be trained by Yoda, he took R2D2 (see, I told you I know my Star Wars). Solo missions aren’t as safe, back-up is always a better plan.
The Lord knew we’d need reinforcements as Christians, and we’re blessed with the Church, with our fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord. We are each other’s back-up, to encourage and lift one another up. First Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to “encourage one another and build up each other.” Hebrews 3:13 admonishes us to “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today’, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” We need to ensure that we are “backing up” those around us, but also, be wise enough to know we don’t need to be flying solo.
3 – Good triumphs evil. It takes watching the Star Wars series in its entirety to see the full picture, but the “Force” does indeed overcome. And unlike movie cliffhangers, we know life’s ending. We know God has already won. Sin and death have been defeated. There won’t be any kooky plot twist, or alternate ending. The Lord has conquered, and we have been given the opportunity to be conquerors with Him. But we must do our part. We must put Him on in baptism, follow His Word, and live faithfully.
So join with me in resolving to rally up our faith and zeal for the Lord, in being better reinforcements for our brothers and sisters in the Lord (and being willing to ask for help as well), and in reaffirming our trust in the Lord that He’s got this. No extra “force” required.
By Damien Tucker
The holidays. A time where we exchange memories, gifts, and food in celebration of the season. As many people are reminded, we have family out there – some of whom we want to see, some of whom we do not. For those that we do, we smile and embrace as we welcome them into our homes. However, for the ones we don’t, there is always an air of disappointment. It’s not only with the “In-Laws”, but also with family with whom we have fought verbally and have disagreed with. Yes, it is in every family and, yes, some of our conflicts with them have been drawn out for years. Despite having our differences, be they over minor issues or major, we are still family. All such things should be set aside during this time, as the purpose of this time is not to be reminded of why we may not agree or see eye to eye. Rather, it is for us to come together and embrace what it means to be family.
As we are told in 1 Peter 2:1, things like malice and contempt are to be put aside when we are dealing with anyone in our life. In regards to our spiritual family, we are further called to reconcile our differences with one another before we gather together. “Leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matt. 5:24) This scripture is not only calling us to make peace with our brethren, but to prioritize it over even worship to God. You cannot worship Him excellently if these things beseech your mind and cloud your thoughts. This means we must bear with one another, in accordance with Colossians 3:13, and forgive each other of our transgressions against one another.
It is also wrong for us as Christians, as well as being out of holy character, to hold grudges against our blood brethren. We are called to be like God, always willing to forgive. From this, you can say, as Christians, we are called to be different from the world. Unlike others, who hold on to their anger and scorn, we are commanded by God to let go of such feelings, no matter what the circumstances are or how it has affected you, because God has done the exact same for us.
Therefore, this holiday season, I implore you to emulate Christ and put aside the personal differences you may have among your spiritual and physical families. Eat, exchange gifts, and be merry, for all we have has been given to us by the Lord.
By Mark McCrary
Interpersonal relationships are crucial to us as human beings. One of the first statements of God regarding us was, “It is not good that man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). But, sometimes relationships, as important as they are, are challenging to maintain—even among Christians. There are times when brothers and sisters in Christ don’t get along with one another.
One of the greatest skills necessary in those moments is the very one that is often not found: the ability to actually listen to others in conflict. So often, we formulate preconceived ideas about what someone thinks, what their motivations are, what they are really getting at; then, our reactions are based not on what they are saying or doing, but on our preconceptions of what they are thinking and meaning. As a result, communication stops, and conflict arises. This happens in homes, in churches, in businesses—everywhere there are people.
What can we do about this?
“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).
Within the context, James is likely addressing our need to listen to God and His instructions to us, but it certainly also has great application in our relationships with one another. How much we would be helped if we slowed down and just listened! Not formulate a rebuttal! Not vent all my frustrations! Not psychoanalyze my opponent at the moment! Not even view the one with whom I am in conflict as my opponent! Saber rattling really does little good in such moment other than encourage the one with whom we disagree to rattle their back at us. Here’s a crazy idea: simply listen. Take it in. Seek to understand. Not necessarily agree; just understand.
Something radical might happen if we would only do this. We might find we don’t disagree. At the least, perhaps we would find we are a lot closer to than we think. God urged Israel in Isaiah 1:18, “Come, let us reason together.” May God help us to have the same attitudes as husband and wives, parents and children, elders and congregations, and brothers and sisters in Christ.
What a wonderful resolution it would be to listen and think about what others are saying more. What a wonderful resolution it would be to stop shaking our fists so much and open our ears more. We would likely find that God’s ways are actually better than man’s wrath at bringing about peace.