Growing In Godliness Blog
Keeping Up Appearances
By Christy Ganchero
A few months ago, I made a big mistake in my grooming routine – I over-plucked my eyebrows. I am sure most of you didn’t notice (my husband didn’t!), but to me it was devastating. In a frenzy, I bought a bunch of eyebrow makeup and started applying home hair-growing remedies to my brows. For the first few weeks, I was paranoid that everyone would notice my flaw. I spent more and more time watching YouTube tutorials and applying makeup, to the point that I started arriving late to work. I didn’t realize how important my physical appearance was to me until I felt that I’d lost it.
Around week three of my eyebrow drama, I reread this passage:
“I desire then that in every place the men should pray… likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but what is proper for women who profess godliness – with good works” (1 Timothy 2:8-9).
I’ve read this passage countless times in my life, but I never felt convicted about Paul’s admonition to women until the eyebrow incident. You see, I had been taught that as long as you did enough “good works,” then you are allowed to braid your hair, wear gold, and buy costly attire. The physical manifestation did not matter as long as one’s heart was in the right place. However, the more I read this passage, the more I realize that the outer adornment of the physical body and our good works are inversely correlated. Meaning, the more that we focus on what we look like on the outside, the less we are able to adorn ourselves with good works.
Thinking about my situation, I could tell that my obsession with my appearance was affecting my priorities. I was arriving later to work, I was spending more money on makeup, and I was focusing my thoughts on my looks throughout the day. Do you know what suffered? My morning study time, which was cut short because I prolonged my makeup routine. My relationship with my coworkers, who had to pick up my slack at work. My focus during services, because I was thinking about others’ perceptions of me. All of these good works suffered because I was thinking about my appearance.
Am I suggesting that we should throw away our gold jewelry and makeup? Not necessarily, although it would be a small sacrifice for gaining Christ (Phil 3:7-8). Rather, we should actively look for ways that we can put aside physical adornments for spiritual ones. How long do you take to get ready in the morning? Consider ditching a morning habit so that you can pray more. Do you purchase makeup, accessories, or clothing that is unnecessary or costly? Maybe donate the money instead, or give your unneeded items to help those in need. Instead of devoting our time and resources to how others will see us, let us focus on how we see others and their needs, which will lead us to grow in good works. May God help you and me to become godly, humble women as we seek His kingdom.
The Patterns of Sin and Faith
By Tristan Ganchero
Like most people, I follow set patterns of behavior almost every day. I wake up around the same time, eat the same thing for breakfast, and drive the same route to work. There might be some days where everything in between waking up and sitting down at my desk at work is a blur of activity. On those days I might stop and ask myself, “How did I get here?” After some thought I’d be able to explain how I arrived at work or school because it’s the same thing I do every day.
What about when I find myself in sin? My first response to the question, “How did I get here,” might be, “I don’t know.” But sure enough, if I gave it some more thought, there would be a pattern of behavior that resulted in this sinful situation.
One such pattern is: Seeing, Desiring, Taking, and Hiding.
Consider three examples from the Old Testament: Eve (Gen. 3:6-8), Achan (Josh. 7:20-21), and David (2 Sam. 11:1-5).
Genesis 3:6-8 God told Adam not to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but Eve saw that the tree was good for food. She desired to be wise, took the tree’s fruit, ate, and gave some to her husband to eat as well. Then, they both hid from the presence of the LORD.
Joshua 7:20-21 God had told Israel that everything in Jericho was devoted to destruction, but when Achan saw the spoil, he desired (coveted) the spoil for its value. He took the spoil for himself, even though it belonged to the LORD, and then he hid the spoil inside his tent.
2 Samuel 11:1-5 During the time of year when kings went out to battle, David stayed home and saw Bathsheba bathing. He desired her beauty (this is implied in his actions), had his servants take her to him, and then spent the rest of the chapter trying to hide his adultery.
The consequences of their sins were serious: suffering, death, and more importantly, a broken relationship with their Creator. We will face the same consequences when we keep our eyes fixed on what we shouldn’t be seeing, desiring what we shouldn’t be desiring, taking what we shouldn’t be taking, and hiding from the LORD.
What’s the solution? If we realize that we are hiding from the LORD because of this pattern sin, then we need to step out of the darkness and into the light by repenting and confessing our sins (1 Jn. 1:6-9). Then, rather than engaging in the pattern of sin, we need to busy ourselves with the “pattern of faith”: We need to fix our eyes on Jesus and see Him as our King (Heb. 12:1-2). We need to desire Jesus for His wisdom, value, and beauty (Col. 2:3; 1 Pet. 1:18-19; Is. 33:17). Finally, we need to take hold of the hope that we have in Him and hide (take refuge) in the shelter He provides (Heb. 6:17-18), never straying from the message of our great salvation, eagerly waiting until that Day when Jesus returns and reveals the glorious hope that the faithful have been longing for - eternal life with Him.
By Damien Tucker
The holidays. A time where we exchange memories, gifts, and food in celebration of the season. As many people are reminded, we have family out there – some of whom we want to see, some of whom we do not. For those that we do, we smile and embrace as we welcome them into our homes. However, for the ones we don’t, there is always an air of disappointment. It’s not only with the “In-Laws”, but also with family with whom we have fought verbally and have disagreed with. Yes, it is in every family and, yes, some of our conflicts with them have been drawn out for years. Despite having our differences, be they over minor issues or major, we are still family. All such things should be set aside during this time, as the purpose of this time is not to be reminded of why we may not agree or see eye to eye. Rather, it is for us to come together and embrace what it means to be family.
As we are told in 1 Peter 2:1, things like malice and contempt are to be put aside when we are dealing with anyone in our life. In regards to our spiritual family, we are further called to reconcile our differences with one another before we gather together. “Leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matt. 5:24) This scripture is not only calling us to make peace with our brethren, but to prioritize it over even worship to God. You cannot worship Him excellently if these things beseech your mind and cloud your thoughts. This means we must bear with one another, in accordance with Colossians 3:13, and forgive each other of our transgressions against one another.
It is also wrong for us as Christians, as well as being out of holy character, to hold grudges against our blood brethren. We are called to be like God, always willing to forgive. From this, you can say, as Christians, we are called to be different from the world. Unlike others, who hold on to their anger and scorn, we are commanded by God to let go of such feelings, no matter what the circumstances are or how it has affected you, because God has done the exact same for us.
Therefore, this holiday season, I implore you to emulate Christ and put aside the personal differences you may have among your spiritual and physical families. Eat, exchange gifts, and be merry, for all we have has been given to us by the Lord.
How Long, O Lord?
By Gary Watson
David was being hunted in the mountains by Saul. Saul's jealousy had prompted him to make a vow to take the life of David. David flees for his life and while in the mountains, he wrote Psalm 13. (http://www.fbbc.com/messages/hyles_psalms.htm). It might be observed that David was so stressed that he felt alone and deserted.
Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.
According to the Mayo Clinic, stress has many common effects on our bodies:
- Muscle tension or pain
- Chest pain
- Stomach upset
- Sleep problems
Common effects of stress on your mood
- Lack of motivation or focus
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Irritability or anger
- Sadness or depression
Common effects of stress on your behavior
- Overeating or undereating
- Angry outbursts
- Drug or alcohol abuse
- Tobacco use
- Social withdrawal
- Exercising less often
Scripture abound in assuring us that God will help us cope with stress. 1 Peter 5 strongly assures us that God will help.
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever.
Note the assurances, challenges, and attitudes necessary as the passage describes: we must humble ourselves, submit ourselves to God, be sober-minded, and watchful. We must resist the doubt and despair Satan causes. We need to be firm in the faith even if we suffer a while.
The words of Isaiah should reassure us:
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Finding Grace in a World Full of Ungrace – Part II
By Tom Rose
Author, Philip Yancey, describes a friend who was battling with his fifteen-year-old daughter. He knew she was using birth control, and several nights she had not bothered to come home at all. The parents had tried various forms of punishment, to no avail. The daughter lied to them, deceived them, and found a way to turn the tables on them saying, “It’s your fault for being so strict!”
Yancey recalls his friend telling him, “I remember standing before the plate-glass window in my living room, staring out into the darkness, waiting for her to come home. I felt such rage, I wanted to be like the father of the Prodigal Son, yet I was furious with my daughter for the way she would manipulate her mother and me and twist the knife to hurt us. And, of course, she was hurting herself more than anyone. I understood the passages in the prophets expressing God’s anger. The people knew how to wound Him, and God cried out in pain.”
“And yet I must tell you,” said my friend, “When my daughter came home that night, or rather the next morning, I wanted nothing in the world so much as to take her in my arms, to love her, and to tell her I wanted the best for her. I was a helpless, lovesick father.”
When I think about God, I hold up that image of the lovesick father, which is miles away from the stern monarch I used to envision. I think of my friend standing in front of the plate-glass window gazing achingly into the darkness. I think of Jesus’ depiction of the Waiting Father of the Prodigal, heartsick, abused, yet wanting above all else to forgive, to begin anew, and to announce with joy, “This my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.”
Compassionate forgiveness is at the heart of extending grace. C. S. Lewis exclaimed, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.” Indeed, ‘forgive and forget’ are easy words to say, but can be difficult to do! Yet, if we fail to do so, bitterness, rather than the Lord, will rule our hearts. For a moment, let us look at what it means to forgive. Forgiveness is not ignoring those who wrong us, ignoring the sin, nor putting the offender on probation – promising to “forget” if no other offenses occur. Rather, genuine forgiveness means halting the cycle of blame and pain; breaking the cycle of ungrace.
What blocks forgiveness; it’s not God’s reticence – but ours. It may be our attitude toward the offender always wanting to put “conditions” on our efforts such as: 1) I am unable to forgive you – at this time; 2) I’m going to forgive you, but in the future I’m not going to have anything to do with you; 3) I’ll do it, but consider it a favor from me to you; and 4) I’m going to forgive you, but I’ll never forget it! However, none of these actions are supported by the scriptures. Mt. 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” On the other hand, it may be our attitude toward our own sins that contribute to our inability to accept forgiveness. Weighted down by repeated failures, lost hope, and a sense of unworthiness, we pull a shell around ourselves that makes us almost impervious to grace. Like the friend’s daughter’s refusal to listen to wide and loving admonitions of grace, so we stubbornly turn away as well. And like a spiritual defect encoded in the family DNA, ungrace is easily passed on in an unbroken chain to others.
We as humans also struggle with two types of hoarding. First, we are often unable to forgive ourselves as old memories clog our lives and Satan reminds us of our failures by bringing that junk that was once tossed to the curb back inside. Secondly, we fail to forgive others as sometimes we feel we have a right to carry a grudge and thereby not only stack up our own junk, we haul in someone else’s too! If the cycle of ungrace goes uninterrupted, in time it will lead to resentment – a word that literally conveys the idea of “to feel again.” Resentment clings to the past, relives it over and over just as one would pick each fresh scab off a wound so that it never heals.
In our everyday interactions, ungrace behavior can cause cracks to fissure open between parents, parent and child, siblings, brethren, best friends, business partners, prisoners, tribes and races. Left alone, cracks widen, and for the resulting chasms of ungrace there is only one remedy: the frail “rope-bridge” of forgiveness. One can best understand forgiveness by observing what God does when He forgives us our sins. He removes the notation from the record (Mica 7:18-19). He forgets, putting it out of His memory (Heb 8:12). He then treats us just like He did before we sinned, receiving us back wholeheartedly (Lk 15:20-24).
In the final analysis, forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. I leave in God’s hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy. And yet I never find forgiveness easy, and rarely do I find it completely satisfying. Nagging injustices remain, and the wounds still cause pain. I have to approach God again and again, yield to Him the residue of what I thought I had committed to Him long ago. But I do so, because Jesus instructed us in His model prayer (Mt. 6:9-13) to say, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” In 1984 Charles Williams has said of this prayer, “No word in the English language carries a greater possibility of terror than the little word as.” Why? Because Jesus plainly linked our forgiven-ness by the Father with our forgiving-ness of our fellow man. In a world that runs by the laws of ungrace, Jesus requires – no demands – a response of forgiveness. So urgent is the need for forgiveness, that it even takes precedence over “religious duties” (see Mt. 5:22-24).
Thus, God granted us a terrible agency: by denying forgiveness to others, we are in effect determining them unworthy of God’s forgiveness, and thus so are we. In some mysterious way, our own divine forgiveness depends on us.
But God took the initiative and shattered the inexorable law of sin and retribution by invading earth, absorbing the worst we had to offer, crucifixion, and then fashioning from that cruel deed the remedy for the human condition. Calvary broke the logjam between justice and forgiveness. By accepting onto His innocent Self all the severe demands of justice, Jesus broke forever the chain of ungrace. And we as His children must do likewise.
Allow me to close with a true story of grace in action. As 2013 came to a close, Malcolm Gladwell, a staff writer for the New Yorker and author of such bestsellers as The Tipping Point and Outliers, spoke publicly about his own rediscovery of faith. He credits a visit with a Mennonite couple in Winnipeg, Canada, who lost their daughter to a sexual predator. After the largest manhunt in the city’s history, police officers found the teenager’s body in a shed, frozen, her hand and feet bound. At a news conference held at the family’s home just after her funeral, the father said, “We would like to know who the person or persons are so we could share, hopefully, a love that seems to be missing in these people’s lives.” The mother added, “I can’t say at this point I forgive this person,” stressing the phrase at this point. “We have all done something dreadful in our lives, or have felt the urge to.”
The response of this couple, so different from a normal response of rage and revenge, pulled Gladwell back toward his own Mennonite roots saying, “Something happened to me. It is one thing to read in a history book about people empowered by their faith. But it is quite another to meet an otherwise very ordinary person, in the backyard of a very ordinary house, who has managed to do something utterly extraordinary. Their daughter was murdered. And the first thing the Derksens did was to stand up at a press conference and talk about the path to forgiveness.” He adds, “Maybe we have difficulty seeing the weapons of the Spirit because we don’t know where to look, or because we are distracted by the louder claims of material advantage. But I’ve seen them now, and I will never be the same.”
For the above article, ideas and phrases were selected from: Grace, by Aaron Erhardt, Louisville, KY: Erhardt Publications, 2015; God’s Amazing Grace: The Sweetest Sound of All by Wilson Adams, Murfreesboro, TN: Courageous Living Books, 2015; What’s So Amazing About Grace” by Philip Yancey, Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1997; Vanishing Grace by Philip Yancey, Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2014.