Growing In Godliness Blog
Do Our Emotions Excuse Us From Self-Control?
By Christy Ganchero
A few weeks ago, I took part in a fruit-of-the-spirit themed girl’s night. I had the privilege of sharing my thoughts about self-control with several young women, all of whom showed great excitement about spiritual things. However, I realized later on that I forgot to cover an important question related to the final fruit of the Spirit: Do our emotions excuse us from having self-control?
At a young age, women realize that there are times when our emotions are difficult to control, especially during our monthly cycle. It is no longer taboo in our society to talk about menstruation, or the bundle of emotions that comes with it. In fact, the internet is full of memes and jokes concerning PMS. Most of these portray women as having a monthly nightmare mode, which takes over our bodies and causes us to have uncontrollable anger, sadness, and aggravation. We have to deal this internal monster for one week out of the month, or a quarter of our lives.
Our culture says two contradictory things about women in this conversation. On one hand, feminist propaganda states that women and men are essentially the same. They say that the differences between men and women are just figments of collective imagination. On the other hand, postmodern progressivism encourages women to say, “I can completely lose control, and that’s okay, because I am a woman!” These two ideas cannot mix. A man cannot experience a menstrual cycle, which is biological proof that the two sexes serve different physical functions. But a woman cannot behave however she wants to just because she is a female biologically – she is also a member of the human race, which has God-given reason and intellect. We would never condone men assaulting women because “they can’t control themselves.” Both men and women will be held accountable for their actions (2 Cor. 5:10).
What does the Bible say regarding women and self-control? In Titus 2, Paul instructs young women to be “self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive” (Titus 2:5). All of these things require us to reign in our emotions and serve others above ourselves. How can we accomplish this? Paul gives us the answer a few verses later:
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. (Ti 2:11-14)
God’s grace trains us to live with self-control. And this grace was given through Jesus Christ, who died in order to purify us from sin. Jesus felt deep, raw emotions, yet He exercised self-control and went to the cross. Because of His sacrifice, those who have been born again and have received His Spirit have the power, by faith, to exercise self-control in all things, just as He did.
By Megan Berthold
I took a fall recently. Well, a stumble really. I’m not certain of all the technicalities between falls and stumbles, but it was a small slip of the feet. The irony was that our family had just hiked almost three miles up the side of a mountain, around “cliffy” edges, and then back down around rocks and slippery stones - all safe and sound. Thankfully, it wasn’t until I was near the safety of the trailhead that I had my slip.
My slip on the safe ground got me thinking. It seems in life that it can be easy to pass the “big tests”, but it’s often times the little ones that can entangle us. It’s amazing that when you’re hiking, even near dangerous edges, there oftern aren’t guardrails. There aren’t park rangers at the rough turns rationing out warnings. Lots of times there aren’t even signs! And it’s not necessary because it’s overwhelmingly apparent - there is danger around you. Carefulness, awareness and safety are demanded.
In our spiritual lives, it’s no different. We don’t need the “ warning signs” around the big issues. We can often handle the "biggie" issues of fornication, drinking, regular attendance at Worship, using the Lord’s name in vain, etc. But just as I’m feeling confident in hiking through the weighty matters of life, the phone rings and gossip is flowing from my lips, or my child disobeys me and my anger flares, or I’m praised for a job completed well and my heart starts harboring pride, or my spouse and I have words and all of the sudden submission to my husband is out the door. Look at all the slipping! And it wasn’t falling over the cliff on adultery, or stealing, or lying; it was slipping on the "little" things, the things not many people see.
This isn’t new by the way. Look at Lot’s wife (Genesis 19:26). Somehow she had lived in Sodom and actually made it out alive; she truly made it to the safe ground. But then she turned. One little look cost it all. Then of course there’s Uzzah (2 Samuel 6:3-8). I feel for Uzzah. He didn’t make the cart, he was just guiding it; but he touched it. God couldn’t have made that rule any plainer, don’t touch the ark. There’s no ambiguity on that point; no way to wonder how God really felt about that one. "No touchy", as we say in our house. And then there is Moses, who was quite the man really. He stood up to Pharaoh and the Egyptians, and to the Israelites too actually, on their many occasions of back peddling. He parted the Red Sea, he saw a burning bush, he received the Ten Commandments, the list just goes on and on. And in Numbers 20:7 the Lord tells him to speak to the rock to bring forth water. So he and Aaron jaunt on down to the assembly of the people before the rock, and he hits the rock. Hits it! Not just once mind you, he strikes that rock twice. When I look at Moses I can really feel better about myself (oops, there is the pride again), but really, here is a man who struck his staff over the Red Sea, which is no creek by the way, and it parts. But he can’t listen and obey when God told him to speak to the rock to bring forth water.
Ok, so what is the take home? We need to make sure we’re getting it right on the “little” things, just like we do on the big ones. What does it really matter if I’m in my pew Sunday at 9am, 5pm, and Wednesday at 7:30, if I’m not truly living as a vessel of Christ in my words, in my example, and in my heart?
We need to ensure that what we perceive as “safe ground” really is secure.