Men vs. Women

By Larry Coffey

Last week’s News & Notes mentioned there were about 70 ladies at the Ladies’ Bible Study Day on November 9.  That caused me to think about the Men’s Bible Study Day on November 2 for which I haven’t seen a count, but having been at that study would estimate there were about half that number present.  Why the large difference?

Then I thought about how the DH ladies have a weekly Bible class in the spring and the fall, but the men don’t have such classes. Do you think the women need more Bible study because they have a harder time learning than men do?  I doubt anyone would make that claim, especially the married men.

I recall when I first became a Christian at age 20, I was asked to go to a small church at the edge of Marion County, KY and preach one Sunday a month. Some of the Sundays I would be there when only women would be present.  Not only did I preach, if you could call it that, I taught the class, said all the prayers, led the singing and conducted the Lord’s Supper since the women couldn’t lead the public worship. (That is the only time I have ever led singing.  Can you imagine what those sisters thought about that?)

It reminds me of a story told by Robert Turner, one of the most effective gospel preachers of the 20th century, about a small church out west.  He said one of the sisters in that church had told him they only had women members, and they conducted the services.  However, occasionally an old mountain man would come to the services, but he would not take the lead.  So, being concerned for the proper Biblical order (1 Tim. 2:12; 1 Cor. 14:34-35), what should they do?  Robert told them to continue their services as they had been doing and ignore the old man.

I believe it is noteworthy that I have never heard of a church with only men.

As we teach about the need for Bible authority for what we practice, it is often mentioned there are many churches who ignore the pattern of men being the only ones to lead the public worship and have women preachers.  While they have no authority for so doing, it may be men are just not stepping forward to fulfil their responsibilities.  Some among our more liberal churches of Christ are now putting women in public leadership roles.  Even several of our more conservative churches who follow the scriptural pattern do not have men who will step up and serve as elders of the churches (1 Tim. 3:1).

In thinking about all of this, I wonder if there was a contest which could measure our “service to our Lord”, who would win, men or women?  To be fair, our paid preachers could not be considered, nor could public worship leaders because women are not permitted to participate in those services.  I don’t know who would win, but the evidence seems to be pointing toward the women.  Of course, there is no such contest.

What is certain is that men and women must serve our Lord faithfully.

Mary- A Modern Day Mentor

By Kim Davis

Mary, the mother of Jesus, is worshipped by some religions.  There are churches, statues, and prayers dedicated to her.  While none of this is supported in the Bible, one cannot deny that Mary was a remarkable woman that we can look to as an example for us today.

Luke 1:30 tells us that Mary had favor with God.  Out of all the women living during her time, God handpicked her to be the mother of His perfect, only begotten Son.  This alone says a lot about Mary.  The Lord knew He would need a strong woman who could bear the burdens that came with being the mother of the Lord.  We all like to think our kids are perfect even though we know better.  But Mary truly had a perfect child.  Can you imagine how wonderful that would have been?  No breaking curfew, no backtalk, but complete obedience.  But on the other hand, imagine the heartache she felt watching her son be prepared for the cross, and hanging there in front of her in pain, as sweat and blood dripped down His body as He was being tortured. Sometimes we watch a child face the consequences of his/her actions and even though it hurts to watch, we know that facing those consequences will help build their character and hopefully teach them a lesson.  But Mary’s child was suffering because of our sins.  Have you ever seen a child punished unjustly for something that another child had done?  It makes us angry as parents.  It’s not fair and we want things to be handled justly.  I can’t help but wonder if Mary experienced those same feelings, even though she knew it was God’s plan and she trusted in God.

Luke 1:34 tells us that Mary was a virgin.  We know she was engaged to Joseph but yet she had kept herself pure for her husband.  So let’s be honest here, is it possible to remain a virgin until marriage?  Yes.  Is it easy?  No, it takes a great deal of determination and resolve.  Many Christians have failed here but Mary did not.  Sometimes we forget that people in the first century struggled with the same sins that we deal with today.  All the way back to the Old Testament, the Bible is riddled with infidelity, multiple wives, and concubines.  Controlling ourselves in the midst of physical passion is not harder today than it was for Mary and Joseph.  We don’t always equip our young ladies with the tools and confidence they need to preserve their purity for their husbands.  But Mary stayed strong and preserved herself for her husband and the Lord was pleased with this.

Luke 1:39 tells us that Mary confided in an older woman, Elizabeth.  Imagine Mary’s state of shock after the angel dissipates, perhaps pacing the floor or staring out into space processing this visit she just experienced.  Then, jumping up and looking for her shoes and grabbing her purse, jumping on a donkey and heading toward the hills of Judah.  Her mind was probably going 90 miles an hour as she was trying to process everything the angel had just told her.  Can you imagine the anxiety that she must have felt?  She had been chosen to give birth to the Lord, the Messiah, and the Son of God.  Have you ever received great, unexpected news and the first thing you wanted to do was share it with someone?  She needed to talk to someone, to share in her excitement.  I think it’s fair to say she was excited from reading Luke 1:46-55. She reached out to share the news with her trusted friend and relative, knowing her reputation could be at stake.

Luke 1:38 tells us that Mary trusted in God. We know she was afraid because Luke 1:30 tells us that Gabriel told Mary not to be afraid.  However she didn’t let her fear stop her from trusting in God. She believed what the angel said and she didn’t try to run away like Jonah or convince God otherwise like Moses. How many times do we let our lack of faith get in the way of doing what God tells us to do? Even though Mary’s reputation was at stake and she didn’t understand all the details, she knew enough and trusted in the Lord and her faith got her through the rest. 

The Lord selected two women from the same family to bear the Lord and his forerunner, John the Baptist. There were likely some very special predecessors guiding them in the ways of God as they endured hardships and experiences which cultivated self-discipline, kindness, love, and deep seated faith for God.

Are we preparing our self (and our children) so that God will find favor in us? Are we teaching the importance of purity, the blessing of friendship and the peace that comes with trusting in God? If we are looking for a modern day mentor, Mary is a great example.

A Man Guards Her Safety and Her Honor

The Protector Role

By Indiucky

One flesh means that woman becomes part of the man she marries. Her life is as valuable as his life. He is to guard it and protect her with his life. When Jacob took his family from his father-in-laws house, he was told that his brother Esau was coming to settle a score. The first thing Jacob did was to move his two wives and family out of harm's way. He made sure that they were out of the line of fire and he went to face Esau alone.

Boaz protected Ruth's reputation by having her leave the threshing floor before light so rumors would not erupt concerning her character. A man protects the reputation of the woman he loves. He should not live with her or sleep over with her. This damages her reputation.

Joseph upon hearing of Mary, the mother of Jesus , was with child sought to put her away quietly so that she would not be stoned for fornication (Mat 1:19) Each of these men had a deep sense of responsibility towards the woman in their lives. They were aware of their obligation to protect her heart, her body, her emotions, and her reputation.

I'm at the end of this brief but important part of the "What every boy needs to know about being a man speech".

Be the extraordinary man good women want.

Do Our Emotions Excuse Us From Self-Control?

By Christy Ganchero

A few weeks ago, I took part in a fruit-of-the-spirit themed girl’s night. I had the privilege of sharing my thoughts about self-control with several young women, all of whom showed great excitement about spiritual things. However, I realized later on that I forgot to cover an important question related to the final fruit of the Spirit: Do our emotions excuse us from having self-control?

At a young age, women realize that there are times when our emotions are difficult to control, especially during our monthly cycle. It is no longer taboo in our society to talk about menstruation, or the bundle of emotions that comes with it. In fact, the internet is full of memes and jokes concerning PMS. Most of these portray women as having a monthly nightmare mode, which takes over our bodies and causes us to have uncontrollable anger, sadness, and aggravation. We have to deal this internal monster for one week out of the month, or a quarter of our lives.

Our culture says two contradictory things about women in this conversation. On one hand, feminist propaganda states that women and men are essentially the same. They say that the differences between men and women are just figments of collective imagination. On the other hand, postmodern progressivism encourages women to say, “I can completely lose control, and that’s okay, because I am a woman!” These two ideas cannot mix. A man cannot experience a menstrual cycle, which is biological proof that the two sexes serve different physical functions. But a woman cannot behave however she wants to just because she is a female biologically – she is also a member of the human race, which has God-given reason and intellect. We would never condone men assaulting women because “they can’t control themselves.” Both men and women will be held accountable for their actions (2 Cor. 5:10).

What does the Bible say regarding women and self-control? In Titus 2, Paul instructs young women to be “self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive” (Titus 2:5). All of these things require us to reign in our emotions and serve others above ourselves. How can we accomplish this? Paul gives us the answer a few verses later:

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. (Ti 2:11-14)

God’s grace trains us to live with self-control. And this grace was given through Jesus Christ, who died in order to purify us from sin. Jesus felt deep, raw emotions, yet He exercised self-control and went to the cross. Because of His sacrifice, those who have been born again and have received His Spirit have the power, by faith, to exercise self-control in all things, just as He did.

Women and the New Testament
By Mark McCrary

Mention the Bible to some people today, and one of the first things they will think of is sexism. After all, it teaches that men are the head of the house, that women can’t be preachers, that they are second class citizens, that sex is only for the man—generally, that women aren’t important, right?

Well, yes and no. It is certainly true that God has ordained that the man is to be the head of the family (Eph. 5:22-29), and He has also determined that women are not to have teaching authority over men (1 Timothy 2:11-12). No Sexual Revolution can ever overthrow these truths. However, most misconceptions and misunderstandings people have about women and the Bible are just that—misconceptions and misunderstandings; and very erroneous ones as at that.

Did you know that women ministered to Jesus and helped Him in his important task? Luke 8:3 tells of many who “provided for Him from their substance.” Women were also the first witnesses of the resurrection (Luke 24:1-10). This is remarkable because in Jewish society, the testimony of women in the court of law had little if any weight.

One of the few named servants in the church apart from the apostles was that of a woman—Phoebe (Romans 16:1). In fact, Romans 16 list the names of a number of disciples in the city of Roman, many of which were women, such as Priscilla (v. 3), Mary (v. 6), Juna (v. 7), Tryphena, Tryphosa, Persis (v. 12) and Julia (v. 15). Mentioned as well—though not by name—are Rufus’ mother (v. 13) and Nereus’ sister (v. 15).

Contrary to the view of women in much of the first century society, the teachings of the New Testament lifted them up. Their sexual desires and needs were elevated to the same level as those of men—“Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Peter reminded husbands that they are to view their wives as “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Pet. 3:7). To fail to do so, he warned, would hinder a man’s prayers to God. Also, the husband was told to view his wife as a “weaker vessel”—not that she is spiritually weaker, but she was to be viewed as something precious and valuable to him; something to be honored and protected at all costs.

Though the husband is the spiritual leader in the home, there is certainly a sense from Ephesians 5 that even he is submissive to his wife as he leads. Everything he does in verses 25-29 is with her and her well being in view. If she is not bettered because of his leadership, he’s doing something wrong and needs to correct it.

That they are also of the same spiritual value as men is seen in Gal. 3:26-29, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

Are women under more restrictions then men? From a teaching standpoint, yes; but from the standpoint of worth and usefulness, she stands shoulder to shoulder and head to head with any man. Her role is not one of leadership. But remember: role is functional; worth is intrinsic. Let’s focus on the worth and value of women found in the New Testament; let’s preach it, embrace it, use it and live it.

God has blessed me with three wonderful and spiritually minded daughters. My prayer for them and all God’s female servants is that they be used—just as any man—in God’s kingdom as He sees fit for His own glory and honor. Such should be the prayer of us all.